An Empty Seat at my Table

My journey through IVF

An Empty Seat at My Table is a memoir rooted in longing—for a second child, for love, for autonomy—and the often silent sacrifices women make in pursuit of all three. At its heart, this is a story of motherhood earned through relentless determination and deep personal cost. When I left the UK at 35, I believed I was heading toward a bright future: a career in the U.S., a promising relationship, and the possibility of becoming a mother.

Instead, I encountered a toxic marriage, an unplanned pregnancy I was coerced into ending, and a long, emotionally brutal struggle with IVF. I wrote this memoir for every woman who has made sacrifices she could not take back, for anyone grappling with infertility, reproductive choices, or emotionally manipulative relationships. It’s a story of how dreams bend but don’t break, how love for a child can anchor you, and how reclaiming your story—even later in life—is an act of profound power.

This isn’t just a story of motherhood. It’s a reckoning with regret, a love letter to resilience, and a guidepost for those navigating the murky waters of fertility treatment and marital coercion. My hope is that it becomes both mirror and map: a place where others see themselves, and a path forward they can claim.